CLOUDS

I just finished a 3 day excursion into the heart of a beautiful pine forest in the north of Israel, near Haifa, with several hundred “troubled” teenagers. Overall it was a good experience, and I would like to share a few memorable moments which I am sure to remember fondly until the day I die.

First and foremost, my job was to positively influence the kids in my group of 7, who happened to be around 10-13 years of age. After about 45 minutes of being looked down upon, I came to the conclusion that in order to do this, you have to get “in” with them, or they will just throw sticks at you and won’t listen to anything you say.

With that in mind, I will explain the complex logic involved in my genius strategy. Basically I convinced them, using subtle references to obscure facts I know, that I have been involved in many wars, including WW2 and Vietnam. I told them my primary weapon was a flamethrower, and that occasionally, when I felt like it, I would use a sniper gun or rocket launcher. They not only believed me, but instantly respected, admired, and feared me, which was great, because from that moment on they did everything I said, which was not the case for the two other guides who have been working with them for months.

Anyways, as you can guess, it was a pretty tricky business because I told them so soon, and there were 3 days of military operations would could expose my exaggerations. Was it wrong to lie to them? I don’t think so, because in the end, they left with an image of a hero they can aspire to become (I told them the importance of discipline, respect, and teamwork required to become a successful war fighter)…that is, until they realize its impossible for a 20 something to have fought in ww2 and vietnam, but by that day the lessons would have hopefully already been ingrained. Unless that day is today, when they tell their parents. In any case, it saved me from the stress of working with people who don’t listen.

How did it all start? They told me they were hoping they would play paintball, and I asked if they ever played without armor, because its more comparable to real warfare. They asked questions from there, and next thing I knew, I was explaining why you should really stick to stealth / knife combat, and save the flame fuel for emergency situations, like the time, I was seperated from my unit and wandered into a hidden german bunker.

…I am such a good role model.

A big problem I had was (notice the recurring theme) understanding Hebrew in critical situations. I was made platoon leader of our group, and was given instructions on how to plant a fake bomb on a car, and then providing cover for the other squads while they escaped. Anyways I got half of it right because of the translations provided by a 11 year old russian boy.

One particular incident worth sharing happened on one of our long night hikes. We hike in 2 lines, and when the captain gives the signal to get down, we get down. Then he passes a message, usually explaining why we stopped, to the soldier first in line, which is passed down to the end, like the game telephone. Every time this happened, there would be a holdup when I tried to pass on the message. Imagine playing telephone with a 120 year old grandpap, who, instead of asking what was said immediately, tries to recreate the noises he did not understand. Thats what I did and it never worked. One time there was a guy in front of me who was not feeling well, apparently he had to use the bathroom. We had already been hiking for several hours, so I understand his problem, he did not have a chance to go. He was right in front of me and when we got down, he just put his face in the ground. When it was his turn to pass the message, all I heard was hard breathing. The guy in front of him passed it to me, but I could not hear it well enough to employ my signature butchering of it, so I asked the face-down guy again. He did not answer. I asked again and again, still no reply. The man behind me in line was the guide, who started laughing at the situation: I cant speak hebrew and the guy in front doesn’t feel like talking, just making soft grunt noises. Anyways we passed another message up, explaing we did not receive the message, and the soft grunting was replaced by silence, and a terrible smell.

The trip, overall, was alot of fun. We made several mock military operations, and I managed to escape with only minor cuts and bruises. Also, the experience gave me an opportunity to meet one of the nicest and most amazing 17 year olds in the world, Dorin, who hosted me at her house with the professionalism of an experienced, 85 yr old russian grandmother.